Breakfast at Tiffany's (1961)

September 18, 1837 - Teddy Young and Charles Tiffany open "Tiffany & Young" in New York City. It becomes Tiffany & Co. later on which inspires a story by Truman Capote titled "Breakfast at Tiffany's" which Blake Edwards turned into a movie of the same name. George "Hannibal" Peppard stars alongside legendary leading lady Audrey Hepburn with help from Buddy "Jed Clampett" Ebsen and Mickey Rooney. We also get the classic Henry Mancini song "Moon River" from the soundtrack.
Oh, and two men known more for their voices than their faces also have roles: Alan "Fred Flintstone" Reed and Mel "99% of all cartoon voices" Blanc.
And, if you were in college at any point during the 1990's, you now have that Deep Blue Something song stuck in your head. You're welcome.

Alternate Completely Out There Pick - In 1975, Patty Hearst was arrested after being on the FBI's Most Wanted list for a year. You might remember Ms. Hearst (now Patricia Campbell Hearst Shaw) as the wealthy socialite heiress who was kidnapped by something called the Symbionese Liberation Army but then decided they were okay and helped them rob a bank. She went to jail but President Jimmy Carter commuted the sentence so she got out early and then President Bill Clinton pardoned her. Oh, and she's an actress too. She's like a combination of Paris Hilton and Lindsey Lohan. Too bad she was about a quarter century too early for reality TV.
Apparently, John Waters digs her and so she shows up in his movies a lot. Like the 1990 Johnny Depp flick Cry-Baby.

That's Harsh, Man - Lance Armstrong turns 42 today! Might I suggest The Jerk with Steve Martin?

Murder By Death (1976)

 Happy Birthday, Peter Falk! The late actor was born today in 1927. While he might be most remembered on the small screen as the detective Columbo, he was also very accomplished on the big screen as well. His most notable role was as the Narrating Grandfather in the classic film adaptation of The Princess Bride, but that one gets all the glory. Instead, I highly recommend the cult classic murder mystery comedy Murder By Death. If you have never watched this film, you are missing out. It's packed with big name stars and is a forerunner to the later cult classic murder mystery comedy, Clue. (As a matter of fact, the recently deceased Eileen Brennan stars in both films) Falk plays hardboiled detective Sam Diamond, a take on the old Philip Marlowe style detective. Seriously, go watch this movie!

Alternate Dumb Movie Pick - Clint Eastwood ran out of movies about nameless cowboys, well armed cops, and orangutangs so he made Firefox, based on a book of the same name, that tells the tale of a spy trying to steal the prototype Russian plane designated MiG-31. It was a fictionalized plane but the real MiG-31 had it's first flight on September 16, 1975.

Alternate Completely Out There Pick - Jerk of the Day Tomás de Torquemada died in 1498. Even if you don't know who that is, the name is probably familiar. He first the first Grand Inquisitor of the Spanish Inquisition. Let us remember him by watching Mel Brooks mock him in History of the World Part I.

It Happened One Night (1934)

Happy Birthday! Claudette Colbert would be 110 today (had she not died in 1996). But you can still watch her when she was in her early 30's by turning on It Happened One Night (1934). Aside from Ms.Colbert winning the Oscar for Best actress, this Academy Award juggernaut also brought home best actor (Clark Gable), best writing (Robert Riskin), best director (Frank "It's a Wonderful Life" Capra), and the big prize, best picture. Yeah, it's a pretty good flick.
And for you guys out there, it isn't just some sappy romance movie. Nope, it's really more of a comedy and in many places, pretty screwball. Not as ludicrous as The Marx Brothers, for sure, but if you don't at least chuckle from time to time, you must work for the IRS.

That's Harsh, Man - 5 year anniversary of Hurricane Ike hitting South Texas. What's Love Got to Do with It is about another asshole named Ike that liked to beat up on things. Laurence "Larry/Cowboy Curtis/Morpheus" Fishburne plays Ike Turner to Angela Bassett's Tina. I don't recommend watching it with Phil Spector.

Alternate Completely Out There Pick - In 335, Emperor Constantine the Great consecrated the Church of the Holy Sepulchre, the place where some people believe Jesus was crucified and buried. 1,670 years later, Constantine was released and the person that greenlit this POS should be crucified and buried. John Constantine is a Scouser (from Liverpool, England) who is very English and used to front a 1970's punk band when not getting in over his head in magic related hijinks. In the movie, he's played by Keanu Reeves, which pretty much tells you everything you need to know about the movie.

Run, Fatboy, Run (2007)

Legend has it, that on September 12, 490 BCE, the underdog Athenian army defeated the much larger invading Persian army at the Battle of Marathon. Then, because there were no instant messages, email, phones, telegraphs, cars, bicycles, helicopters, smoke signals, carrier pigeons, televisions, or radios, a messenger named Pheidippides ran the 26 or so miles from Marathon to Athens to tell everybody that Athens won the BCS National Championship despite not being in the SEC. And then the dude died. Real historians will say that's all bullshit (especially the BCS National Championship part... everybody knows the SEC owns that thing) and that it's an amalgamation of two different events that happened around the time of the Battle of Marathon: 1) Pheidippides ran from Athens to Sparta to ask Gerard Butler to grease up and help out (and that run was about 140 miles... marathons are for wimps) and 2) the entire Athenian army marched briskly back to Athens from Marathon after the battle because a different part of the Persian army was threatening their hometown.
In about the complete opposite physical shape is Simon Pegg in Run, Fatboy, Run. In it, he plays a jerk that abandons his pregnant fiance Libby (Thandie Newton) at the altar and then decides 5 years later he wants her back. Except that he has to fight even jerkier Hank Azaria to do so. The battle? Running a marathon.

1977 - One of the most notorious events in South African history occurred when 30 year old anti-apartheid activist Steve Biko died in police custody. Once word got out, the anti-apartheid movement gained increased support from around the world. The police officers involved were never prosecuted although the South African government did pay Biko's family some restitution. The film Cry Freedom came out ten years later and details Biko's story through the eyes of his friend, journalist Donald Woods (Kevin Kline). Denzel Washington, in one of his earliest starring roles, is Biko.
For bonus points, go get the Peter Gabriel song stuck in you head.

Happy birthday to Joey Pants! Joe Pantoliano turns 62 today. It's so hard to pick just one! I just watched The Matrix over the weekend, so how about let's do The Goonies, eh? Who doesn't love The Goonies?

Braveheart (1995)

9/11... how do you pick a movie today? Do you go with a direct 9/11 related movie? Or do you just leave that alone because there is enough to remind you of the anniversary without direct stimulus? Do you go for inspirational to lift your spirits and make you believe that good can happen in this world? What about a comedy to just completely ignore the whole thing?
It's all pretty personal and difficult. Unless you just don't care about remembering what happened 12 years ago.
I don't know which category you fall under and ultimately, that's your decision. I'm just a guy that makes dumb recommendations about movies to watch. And as such, if you are interested, here they are:

Oh crap! Another Mel Gibson movie! 2 days in a row! That's history for ya...today marks the anniversary of the Battle of Sterling Bridge. In 1297, William Wallace and Friends had what was basically their finest moment in Scots vs English fighting as they soundly kicked the bums of the invaders. Kind of a high point for the sword throwing enthusiast and it kind of went downhill after that. Obviously, you can enjoy more blue-painted madness by watching that epic Scottish flick, Highlander Braveheart, and perhaps take a little extra pride in screaming "FREEDOM!" at the end.

Happy Birthday! Brian DePalma turns 73! Might I suggest The Untouchables? I mean, DePalma works some magic because it's a non-baseball movie where Kevin Costner isn't unbearably annoying.

And another birthday for an actor who has passed away almost a year ago but was one of my favorites. Herbert Lom was probably best known as Chief Inspector Charles Dreyfus, the recipient of unintentional misfortune by one Inspector Clouseau (you know, Peter Sellers) in several Pink Panther films. But he was extremely accomplished and appeared in many memorable films. For today, I'm going with The Ladykillers (the 1955 original) where he plays quite the scoundrel and appears with the aforementioned Peter Sellers and the iconic Sir Alec Guinness.

Pocahontas (1995)

On September 10, 1608, John Smith was elected president of the Jamestown Virginia colony council. What better way to commemorate one of the earliest acts of political bureaucracy in the land that would become the United States of America than by watching a cartoon featuring a Disney-fied "princess" character? And, as an added bonus, John Smith is voiced by Mel Gibson, that fine man that all children should strive to emulate. But hey, there's singing so history schmistory. Rock on, Pocahontas.
Really though, I'm more interested in the early John Smith adventures where he was a pirate and fought Ottoman Turks, supposedly beheading three commanders in duals, and then getting knighted by a Transylvanian Prince before being captured and sold as a slave, ending up as the love interest of some Greek woman in Constantinople. Where's THAT movie, Disney?

Alternate More Obvious Pick - Colin Firth turns 53 today. Why not enjoy The King's Speech? Firth gets to act with Geoffrey Rush and Helena Bonham Carter, both of whom play extremely normal characters, which is weird.

Movies for Non-Humans - Rin Tin Tin the First (there were three official Rin Tin Tins) was born today in 1918. He died in 1932, making him 14 in dog years and about 85 in human years. Since he's been dead for 81 years, does that mean he's been dead 330 dog years? Anyway, maybe you can track down Clash of the Wolves (1925). It's a silent film, so I guess you could call it a "Pre-Barky."

The Waterboy (1998)

Adam Sandler turns 47 today! Give him some candy! So many movies to choose from for Adam Sandler... some of them are even good! My normal go-to Sandler pick is The Wedding Singer, mostly because of the Billy Idol cameo (and it's a good movie), although I actually do enjoy Happy Gilmore and 50 First Dates, but it must be The Waterboy for today. After all... it's college football time and The Waterboy is a movie about college football... more or less.
Sandler, being known for ridiculous characters, might have his best ridiculous character here. He's a savant (with regards to drinking water) but sufficiently stupid and over the top without going, in the immortal and un-politically correct words of Kirk Lazarus, "full retard." And he surrounds himself with completely ridiculous characters played by Kathy Bates, Henry "The Fonz" Winkler, and Fairuza Balk. And then of course, there is the character of "Farmer Fran" played by Blake Clark. That is one of the silliest characters ever to appear in a football movie.
Also of note, this was Jerry Reed's last role. And dang... he was just mean!

Alternate Pick -  In 1956, Elvis Presley first appeared on the Ed Sullivan Show. And the world was never the same. Shortly thereafter, Elvis made his movie debut in Love Me Tender.

That's Harsh, Man - Duck Soup, the 1933 Marx Brothers classic, tells the tale of President & Dictator of the bankrupt nation of Freedonia, Rufus T. Firefly (Groucho) and the hijinks that ensue when he declares war on neighboring Sylvania. Chico and Harpo play Sylvanian spies... like that's a good idea. It's inept politicians and poorly executed war mongering done hilariously!
In other news, today is the day North Korea celebrates its Independence Day.

The Lion in Winter (1968)

September 3, 1189 - King Richard I is crowned at Westminster Abbey. You probably remember him better as Richard the Lionheart, you know, the guy that shows up at the end of every Robin Hood movie. But Richard was, historically, an important figure that features in one of the wackiest eras of Western History (and, for that matter, Middle Eastern History). Before his most famous exploits in "The Holy Land" against Saladin during the Third Crusade and before he was made King of England, Richard was one of the sons of Henry II and they all schemed and plotted with and against each other to take their father's throne. Richard ultimately won but still had to watch his back for his rotten little brother, John.
Anyway, "The Lion in Winter" is one of those classic films with classic actors and it is all about the previously mentioned scheming of Henry II's (Peter O'Toole) sons Richard (Anthony Hopkins), Geoffrey (John Castle), and John (Nigel Terry). Oh, and the very non-British Katharine Hepburn rounds out the cast as Eleanor of Aquitaine.

Alternate More Obvious Pick -  Charlie Sheen has somehow managed to not die and turns 48 today. "Major League" is Sheen as a miscreant, but still young and loveable.

Today marks the one year anniversary of the death of Michael Clarke Duncan. Go find Mr. Jingles and remember MCD (and Michael Jeter) by watching "The Green Mile"

Peter O'Toole's Bacon number is 2
Anthony Hopkins's Bacon number is 2
John Castle's Bacon number is 2
Nigel Terry's Bacon number is 2
Katharine Hepburn's Bacon number is 2
Charlie Sheen's Bacon number is 2
Michael Clarke Duncan's Bacon number is 2
Michael Jeter's Bacon number is 2

Reality Bites (1994)

In 1836, the city of Houston was founded. 158 years later, Ben Stiller's movie "Reality Bites" was released. It's set in Houston and features Gen Xers and Yuppies doing grungy 90's things. Sam Houston would probably be very confused by "Reality Bites"... in much the same way that I'm confused by mid-19th century hair styles: 

Oh, and btw, Ben Stiller is trying to bring a new Reality Bites TV series to us. Because that seems like a good idea?


Ewwww, really? - I wanted for the main pick to have something to do with Thurgood Marshall, since today in 1967 he was confirmed as the first black Supreme Court Justice, but the only non-TV movie that I can find in which Justice Marshall was used is "The People Vs. Larry Flynt" and really... that's just not fair. But hey, maybe you can get a hold of the 1991 TV Movie "Separate But Equal" where Marshall is portrayed by Sidney Poitier?

Alternative Completely Out There Pick - Happy Birthday to Dave Brockie, better known as Oderus Urungus of the rock band GWAR! Catch his amusing appearance in "Empire Records"!

Murder on the Orient Express (1974)

On this day in 1915, legendary actress Ingrid Bergman was born. On this day in 1982, legendary actress Ingrid Bergman died. It was not the best result for a 67th birthday party. Bergman died from breast cancer.
She won lots of awards over her career and some folks consider her the best ever. The obvious pick for today would be "Casablanca," but a) it's too obvious and b) I think it's overrated. Instead, I'm going with one of her later films, "Murder on the Orient Express." Granted, she wasn't the lead, but she did win the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress for this film (the only award this film won out of 6 nominations). Double points for the Bogart connection where Bergman appears with her Casablanca co-star's last wife, Lauren Bacall.

That's Harsh, Man - It's the Christian Feast Day for the beheading of John the Baptist! How about a salami sandwich and a viewing of "Godspell"?

Now You're Just Being Silly - 1825: Portugal recognizes Brazil's independence. Terry Gilliam's film "Brazil" has absolutely nothing to do with that.

Ingrid Bergman's Bacon number is 2
Lauren Bacall's Bacon number is 2
Terry Gilliam's Bacon number is2

To Kill a King (2003)

 On August 28, 1648, the Siege of Colchester concluded, essentially ending the English Civil War. Four days before, Oliver Cromwell's Parliamentary forces defeated the Royalists at the Battle of Preston and when word reached the Parliamentary & Royalist forces at Colchester, the Royalists surrendered.
This, of course, led to the installation of Cromwell as Lord Protector and thus did the wacky hijinks ensue!
"To Kill a King" recounts the fun times after the Siege and the relationship between Sir Thomas Fairfax (Dougray Scott) and Cromwell (Tim Roth) along with King "Loser" Charles I (Rupert Everett).

That's Harsh, Man - Robert Shaw died on this day in 1978. In 1975, he (SPOILERS) died at the end of "Jaws". 

Now You're Just Being Silly - It's the Feast of St. Augustine! Go outside and watch your grass grow!

Dougray Scott's Bacon number is 2
Tim Roth's Bacon number is 2
Rupert Everett's Bacon number is 2
Robert Shaw's Bacon number is2

Police Academy (1984)

Another fun birthday pick! Happy Birthday to the legend G.W. Bailey! He turns 69 today! Even if you don't immediately recognize the name, you will recognize the face as Bailey has been on the large and small screen for almost 40 years now. Some of his notable early TV roles include "M.A.S.H." and "St. Elsewhere" and he is currently in his 8th year as the loveable curmudgeon Lt. Provenza originally from "The Closer" and now "Major Crimes."
And while Bailey is probably best known for his television roles, he will also be fondly remembered as the unfortunate villain of "Police Academy" (and several unfortunate sequels), Lt. Thaddeus Harris. I'm not sure which is worse... having to be a clown of a villain or being shown up by Steve Guttenberg.

Alternate More Obvious Pick - "Pee Wee's Big Adventure" cuz Paul Reubens turns 61 today

Alternate Completely Out There Pick - "Batman: The Movie." Why, you ask? Well, today is Lyndon Baines Johnson Day (in Texas) celebrating the 36th President's Birthday. Van Williams had an uncredited role as the "voice" of LBJ in the 1966 camp classic "Batman". More trivia fun, Van Williams went on to star as The Green Hornet and guest starred as the same on the subsequent "Batman" television show.


G.W. Bailey's Bacon Number is 2.
Steve Guttenberg's Bacon Number is 1.
Paul Reubens Bacon Number is 2.
Van Williams Bacon Number is 2.

The Birdcage (1996)

On August 26, 1940 Donald Leroy La Fontaine was born in Duluth, Minnesota. He was better known as simply Don LaFontaine and while you might not know his name, you know his voice.
Don LaFontaine was the deep voiced announcer for thousands of movie trailers... you know... the "In a world where blah blah blah" kind of thing.
Anyway, Don wasn't really an actor, but sometimes he'd be brought in for narration or as kind of an inside joke within a movie or TV show. Two movies come to mind: "The Birdcage" and "Scrooged"
Since "Scrooged" is a Christmas movie, we're going to ignore that one for now.
The 1996 release "The Birdcage" stars Robin Williams, Nathan Lane, and Gene Hackman. Williams and Lane are a couple who run a nightclub featuring drag performances (Lane is the featured performer) while Hackman is a conservative politician trying to distance himself from scandal. And how does it all mix together? Williams has a son, Hackman has a daughter and they want to get married. Hijinks ensue!
Don LaFontaine has an uncredited role as the voice of "Radio Newscaster." It isn't a major role, but so what. The man is a freaking legend and today is his freaking birthday... so honor him, ya mooks! He would have been 73 today (he died in 2008).

Don LaFontaine's Bacon number is 2
Robin Williams's Bacon number is 2
Nathan Lane's Bacon number is 1
Gene Hackman's Bacon number is2